Guide to Intercultural Dating

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Be Cool

Alright, this is a bit of common sense that many people seem to be missing. If you have decided to keep the relationship going, play it cool. It's easy to get caught up in a new and exciting relationship, but do your best to avoid turning into 'needy' guy. Just because she is from a more traditional culture does not mean she is ready to commit to you after a few dates. Keep up with your life, your friends, family and keep getting to know her better on the side.

Meeting The Family

Oh brother, here it is. With really traditional cultures, this stage can make or break the relationship. The lady in your life is probably going to feel the pull of the relationship if your meeting of her family doesn't go well. Even if it did go well, her parents may still be skeptical of you. Research suggests that they will be especially skeptical if you are from a different religion or culture - it's human nature. Doing your research before visiting the family is key. Your significant other wants things to go well too so if you have questions ask them. Even if you think the question might be silly, go for it. Shoes on or off? Do I kiss both cheeks or shake hands? Knowing will relieve your stress and make the whole process smoother. If her family speaks a different language you can earn bonus points by learning a phrase from her and it always helps to bring a gift. Have your girlfriend pick out something she knows her parents will love and you can foot the bill.

Acceptance

In the end, it is the single act of acceptance that will bring you together or tear you apart. While there is certainly room for compromise, you should never try to change who someone is or their beliefs. Sometimes, no matter how you feel about one another, there are cultural barriers that cannot be overcome. But, if you can agree to disagree about certain things and accept each other's beliefs, then that is all there is to it.

Dating between cultures or certain religions can be quite stressful or difficult to approach and even tougher to handle. But if you make an earnest effort to respect and understand her religious/cultural ways and she is willing to do the same for you then you are off to a promising start. At the end of the day it is up to you and her to work together to make the relationship work, neither one of you should have to sacrifice your beliefs. Pressure from family, friends or even society at large may at times be overwhelming, when this happens you will need to stop and refocus on all of the reasons you are in this relationship. It's not about how other people feel; all that matters is how you and her feel. If the pressure does get to either of you or the differences feel to large to handle then you may need to rethink dating each other. Good luck.

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